{"id":193866,"date":"2026-02-04T13:00:43","date_gmt":"2026-02-04T20:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/?p=193866"},"modified":"2026-02-04T16:06:46","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T23:06:46","slug":"salted-pickled-salt-lake-specimens-y2k-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/community\/salted-pickled-salt-lake-specimens-y2k-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Salted & Pickled Salt Lake Specimens: Y2K Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every life form I\u2019ve contacted has a different impression of what the 2000s were like. One remembers it as a bubbly, Frutiger Aero future of clean technology hovering in pools of aquamarine. Another recalls visuals of rebellious acts against a Bush<\/strong>-era war on terror, ignited by lizard milk SoBe and CKY<\/a>. <\/strong>It\u2019s as if the decade has refracted into different dimensions, unleashing various possibilities and outcomes. Plus, from what I remember from my prepubescent mind, Salt Lake City was changing like the timelines \u2014 out or away from stereotypical absurdities. So let\u2019s power up the time-traveling Crosstrek (no DeLoreans here) to find what specimens run rampant in the cultural zeitgeist.<\/p>\n

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\"AThe Interstate Mad Man<\/strong><\/h4>\n

The streets were getting more dangerous by the day. The endless diversions caused by construction and primary TRAX lines could drive a person mad. In an alternate version of 2001, where the rebuilding of the \u201cspaghetti bowl\u201d interchange resulted in the Wasatch Fault giving out, the Interstate Mad Man rose from the dust victoriously. Armed to the teeth with sporting equipment and whatever autoparts he could scavenge, he was a vicious entity enforcing a sense of \u201cfrontier justice\u201d to the Mojave. When asked about what made his world go to shit, the Mad Man spoke in a civilized demeanor. \u201cProgress, my dear friend \u2014 the false pretense of it all,\u201d he says softly. \u201cBigger crowds brought bigger ideas with bigger budgets\u2026 pretty soon, society was buried by layers of asphalt.\u201d For the Interstate Mad Man, his past remains grim, but those memories shine bright like beehive-shaped, fluorescent orange traffic cones.<\/p>\n

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\"AThe Scrapbooking Mother<\/strong><\/h4>\n

It\u2019s a human drive to archive a bit of our history, whether behind bullet-proof glass at the Smithsonian or hand-scribed in composition notebooks. The die-hard historians of life, however, reach almost obsessive levels when it comes to conservation. Fumgating a sharp scent of cinnamon and nutmeg, the Scrapbooking Mother meticulously captured every aspect and interaction in her life. Notice her bulging binder of photos and keepsakes, like a junk journal that\u2019s archiving a landfill. Each page has been painstakingly designed with arts and crafts, as her frequent stops to The Quilted Bear<\/em><\/a> made the place a second home. \u201cI\u2019ve stopped there seven times today,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019ve added a new page with all my receipts.\u201d Although cluttered, the Scrapbooking Mother has a type of tenderness to her that every day is a gift to be held \u2014 we must not forget. She is now enjoying her residence in Daybreak, powering through her newfound craze of dirty sodas and ketamine drips.<\/p>\n

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\"AThe 2002 Olympics Fanatic<\/strong><\/h4>\n

The Winter Olympics landed at Rice-Eccles Stadium<\/em> at the beginning of February 2002. A total of 78 global events commenced after the passing of the torch, signaling the return of unity to humanity. Through physical strength and sheer endurance, some may never forget this courageous event\u2026 and some need a piece of merchandise as a reminder. Or maybe 10 or 12 pieces. The 2002 Olympics Fanatic fell victim to such consumerism, loading their entire inventory marked by that blue, yellow and orange snowflake. (Looks more like a certain Kurt Vonnegut<\/strong><\/a> drawing to me, but I digress.) They racked it all up: navy blue berets, mugs, keychains, fry sauce and jello mold pins, even the sweater vest with a matching straightjacket! \u201cPowder, Copper, Coal, Otto,\u201d they kept rambling to themselves. As we inch forward to our 2034 winter games return, I\u2019m sure the Olympics Fanatic will be personally funding the event by building their little rat\u2019s nest of glorified knick-knacks.<\/p>\n

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\"AThe Jack Mormon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

From straight-laced to straight-edge, the Jack Mormon created a half-life for himself. His missionary attire was altered beyond repair, trimming his Sunday blazer into a battlejacket of sorts (at least he kept his Elder nametag). His fresh sleeve of ink had some prominent features like \u201cCTR\u201d right next to \u201cXXX\u201d and the angel Moroni holding a picket sign saying \u201cmeat is murder.\u201d Even though his style and ideals changed drastically, the Jack Mormon still held some conservative values underneath. You\u2019ve just got to look past the gauges and rising coffee addiction. \u201cI\u2019m not ashamed of my heritage. I was just ahead of the curve,\u201d he says. \u201cThe world is changing and from what I\u2019ve seen, it\u2019s changed a lot.\u201d The Jack Mormon has now blended into his new 2020s environment, on the hunt for the latest cafe and the next issue of \u201csome zine I saw at Club DV8<\/em><\/a>.\u201d That zine: SLUG Magazine<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Read more zany stories from SLUG<\/em> Associate Editor\u00a0<\/strong>Alton Barnhart:
\nTalking To Myself: An Interview With a Ventriloquist\u2026 Dummy<\/a>
\nSkittlez: The Rapper Alter Ego from My Musical Past<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Buckle up, readers! Associate Editor Alton Barnhart is rolling back the clock to the 2000s and bringing back some rather bizarre friends. … read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":194060,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[],"_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":null,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"default","_twitter_share_type":"default","_linkedin_share_type":"default","_pinterest_share_type":"default","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"default","_medium_share_type":"default","_threads_share_type":"default","_google_business_share_type":"default","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[340],"tags":[19604,31368,22486,7753,23424,31369,31370,23414],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/193866"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=193866"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/193866\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/194060"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=193866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=193866"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slugmag.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=193866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}